Back, by popular demand!!!

Sometimes in conversations I like to combine old school terms and phrases with new school slang.  It can really throw people for a loop.  The old school phrases are classics, which make them awesome.  The new school phrases often don't make any sense and that makes them awesome too.  And I'm all for things being awesome, so try it.  Jump on this bandwagon.  Here are a few I'll loan out to you (they will only work under certain circumstances; you may need to purchase a llama for one of them):

On a hot day:

It's a scorcher, bro! 

When walking down the sidewalk:

Don't step on a crack or you'll break your mother's back.  Word!

If someone successfully scares you, when you are known for being cool as a cucumber:

Wow, you scared the dickens out of me!  Mad props, homeslice.

When you hear some surprising, but terrible news, like your llama escaped and broke into a furniture store and started making love to the chaise lounges:

Oh my lans!  That is whack!

OR

When you hear some surprising, but good news, like your llama escaped and broke into a furniture store and somehow smuggled home a chaise lounge for you:

Oh my lans!  That is so dope!  Thanks, Hank!  (Hank is the name of my llama, of course).

...and many, many more.

I paint my fingernails.

C'est vrai. But not just any and all of my fingernails and not just any color. I paint the pinky nails. And that's right, I paint them pink. Why is the pinky finger called the "pinky", if not for the sole purpose for its nail to be painted pink. Your fingers should live up their names. Our pinky nails should be pink. Jump on the bandwagon!

Note: The word pink is Dutch for little finger. A triviality I choose to ignore. And so should you.

Oregano

I'm going to name my first born Oregano. It's the most versatile of all the herbs. The name has success written all over it.

You want to read me?

Why? There's nothing worth reading here. This dot pattern is fascinating though.